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08.03.06 - What I'd say to the Martians - an excerpt from Jack Handey's New Yorker vignette:
We are a warlike species, you claim, and you show me films of Earth battles to prove it. But I have seen all the films about twenty times. Get some new films, or, so help me, if I ever get out of here I will empty my laser pistol into everyone I see, even pets.
Read the entire thing here. -terry